Why Kids Should Hear Parents Argue… Sometimes.

I am a firm believer in airing out your marital troubles behind closed doors.

If you have something mean to say or something important to discuss, find the place and the time when little or big ears aren’t listening.

Nothing is gained from fighting with or belittling your spouse in front of your children.

There is a stability and safety our children desperately need that can so easily be shattered by constant arguing and strong discussions.

So much of what parents and married couples need to say to each other about finances, worries, relationship problems, family issues are not meant to be discussed in front of children. The added stress to their little lives is unnecessary and harmful.

With that all said…

I do think that kids SHOULD hear their parents argue… sometimes.

Why Kids Should Hear Parents Argue... sometimes #parenting #family #marriage

Why?

Well, I recently wrote a post called “I’m So Mad!

In that post, I talked about how marriage is this constant give and take of being mad at our spouse and being in love with our spouse. We feel incredibly passionate about pretty much everything that has to do with marriage and family. All in one day you can be absolutely elated with your spouse and positively frustrated with your spouse. Both emotions equally passionate. And marriage is about working the two together to build a strong, healthy relationship.

A friend commented on that post saying, “I also think it’s really important for our children to see that we don’t always get along. As well as see how we fix it.”

How true! I love when reader comments spark new conversations!

Yes, this give and take in marriage, the constant back and forth of emotions… that is real life!

That is real marriage and real family and real relationship!

Our kids must learn how to handle their emotions, their words and the struggles that come with a close, healthy, Biblical marriage.

That means fighting fair and working things out and saying I’m sorry and listening and discussing.

How can our kids learn that from us, the very best place to learn those skills, if we are always going to another room to argue, discuss or work things out?

They need to see us discuss some things in front of them. Letting them watch the confrontation, the discussion and the resolution.

They may not realize it now. They may get grossed out when you kiss, hug and make-up. They may even feel sad watching you disagree.

But the value of the lessons they are learning will show up one day when they are married and have struggles to work through.

They will better know how to work things out because they have learned healthy ways from you.

That means really talking things out, not running away and slamming the door.

That means being silent and listening to the other person.

That means staying calm when you feel misunderstood.

That means not throwing back mean names when you feel mistreated.

That means not yelling or bringing up past wrongs.

It means demonstrating I Corinthians 13 kind of love to your spouse even when you are mad, frustrated, wronged and hurt.

Our kids need to see these things.

They don’t see it on TV. They don’t read it in magazines. And they probably don’t see it at their friend’s house.

They should see it at home. With you.

A few tips for arguing in front of your kids:

1. Choose topics wisely. Filter what should be discussed before launching into a full blown argument.

2. Talk it through. Don’t leave things hanging and unresolved between you and your spouse. Be sure you can walk it from confrontation to resolution in one sitting. And if you can’t, refer to #1. Or take it to the other room.

3. The Resolution. You might not always come to one. Sometimes you have to offer grace and forgiveness and agree to disagree. Showing your kids that this is a valuable way to end a discussion will help them in so many ways as they grow up and face the world.

4. Hug. Show your kids that no matter what, you love our spouse.

5. Talk to your kids. Use these times for family prayers, family meetings, and family discussions about healthy ways to face conflict with people you love.

So, while I don’t think that arguing in front of your kids should be a daily occurrence, there is value in wisely choosing discussions that can be worked out while they are listening.

What do you think? To argue or not to argue?

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ScoreBig and a Red Wings Game

I am half French Canadian. My mom grew up in Windsor and my dad grew up in Michigan.

For our family, that means hockey is about the only sport we watch on TV.

No superbowl Sunday for us… but some yummy nachos during the hockey playoff games? Yes, please!

We like other sports. Real sports like hunting and fishing… but to watch a sport on TV, it has to be hockey.

And the only hockey team we cheer for is the one and only Red Wings.

Michigan and Canadian roots… Detroit is our team.

And for the 23rd year in a row, the Wings are in the playoffs!

When I had the opportunity to review ScoreBig and try out their fun website, I knew Red Wings would be my choice.

ScoreBig

Scoring tickets for this year’s Red Wings playoffs was pretty exciting!!

ScoreBig is the place to get event tickets at a great price. With NO fees.

ScoreBig

Not only NO fees, but they guarantee that you will get your tickets in time.

Ours came downloadable via email.

So cool.

Here are some things you should know about ScoreBig:

Quick Facts:

  • You are guaranteed to save on each and every ticket on ScoreBig.com

  • Tickets for sports, concerts, theater, Broadway, family shows, and attractions

  • No fees – free delivery

  • Choose Your Seating Area – all seats ordered together will be next to each other

  • Tell us what you want to pay – you have all the control, it’s thrilling!

  • Get an instant answer – you find out right away if your offer has been accepted

How it Works

  • Choose your event

  • We don’t tell you what to pay, you decide…how much you save is up to you

  • By choosing a seating area rather than an exact seat, you’re giving the ticket providers the flexibility they need to give you great deals

  • Get an instant answer

When I was researching tickets, I spent quite a bit of time on their website. You can search by city or by event. There are helpful tabs to help you narrow down your search. Dates are clearly listed.

I had planned to purchase my tickets using my laptop, thinking that would be easier than trying to book through my phone.

But, when it came time to purchase the tickets, I only had my phone available!

I must say, that using my phone didn’t really hinder me at all. I did have one question, so I called the number and got a real person right away.

A REAL PERSON. ON THE PHONE.

That in itself is quite amazing.

He answered my question and I very easily returned to my phone and ordered my tickets!

Within minutes, I had two Red Wings playoffs tickets!!

So on Thursday, Jeremy and my dad will be making a trip to Detroit to the Joe Louis Arena for Game 4 of the playoffs!

A few things I found helpful:

- talking to a real person on the phone – that was a huge bonus

- helpful email communication through the entire process from purchase to receiving my downloadable tickets

- easy to use website on my laptop and on my phone

- tickets come downloadable through email to print and use at the doors of the event

- big event tickets for great prices!

If you are planning an event, you will want to visit ScoreBig and check out what they have available.

I know we will be using them again!

Have you ever used ScoreBig? What event would you choose?

Now, be watching my twitter and instagram next week for LIVE tweets and pictures from the game!

*this is a sponsored post from ScoreBig

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Soak It In

We have a slow morning today.

Church doesn’t start until later and I’m up early.

Feeling odd not to have ministry responsibilities this weekend outside of attending an Easter service.

Nothing to be in charge of, nothing I’ve planned for weeks happening today… simply Easter.

I turned on facebook and twitter… even instagram and my feeds are full of “He is risen!” and “Happy Easter!” and “Christ is no longer in the grave!”

Pictures, songs, verses and words… beautiful truths being proclaimed.

I even saw the hashtag #heisrisen is trending today… love that.

But I wondered.

How many people are browsing through… seeing the same post after post and not really stopping to let the truth sink in?

Pausing to soak it all in. to remember.

Easter: remembering to pause and soak in the truth of the day #easter #heisrisen

Quiet your heart, step away from the busy activity around you and just soak it in.

Really let the reality of the day awaken your soul.

He is Risen.

Death is defeated.

The grave could not hold Him.

Because of that we have eternal life.

We have victory over death and the grave with our Savior.

Don’t let yourself get used to the status updates floating around today.

Pause. Remember. Soak it in.

Surround yourself with the truth and rejoice.

He is Risen!

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