I don’t know if this advice is pin worthy.
I don’t know if you’ll feel like sharing it.
I don’t know if you are even ready to hear this.
Honestly, it very well could ruin your next girls night out if you decide to hear me on this.
But, there is something I’ve learned in the past 16 years that has literally saved our marriage and helped bring contentment to how I feel about my husband.
There are lots of things you shouldn’t do in marriage… lots of hot-button issues like adultery and secret online lives. Those are things I absolutely think should not be in marriage.
My thought today though isn’t so widely talked about nor is it something that I was taught at a marriage conference.
It is something I learned.
The hard way.
There really is 1 thing you should NOT do in marriage.
You aren’t going to like it when I say it because so many of us women deal with this quite often.
Did you know you can gossip about your husband?
Yes. You sure can. I didn’t know I was doing it and I felt horrible when I realized the truth. Learning this lesson about my conversations with friends made me watch the words coming out of my mouth so much more. It made me conscious of what I said and to whom and how my words would make my husband and my marriage appear to others.
In a perfectly healthy marriage where two people are head over heels in love… you can still gossip?
But, you might be thinking, I should be able to share things with close friends. That’s what close friends are for… we all need a safe place to share.
Yes. So right. But not at the expense of your husband.
When we were first married, I didn’t even know I gossiped about him. I certainly wouldn’t have labeled it gossip, but more of a close conversation with friends.
I would get with a group of friends and we’d all start talking about how our husband did this or that… how they didn’t do this or that. How they like to do this or that. How they… you fill in the blank.
Sometimes it is harmless “he leaves his socks out” kind of stuff. Sometimes it is more personal or more private or more hurtful.
Oh, it can be so fun and stress-lowering to talk with friends and share husband stories.
Husbands can be really great “talking about” material.
But there is a fine line between sharing a funny story and gossiping about your husband.
So very quickly, the lines blur and before you know it you have shared something harmful about your husband or embarrassing about your husband… you’ve told friends something that really shouldn’t be told.
Marriage is sacred. It is fragile. And so much harm, bitterness, and hurtfulness can come from gossiping about your husband.
Really, when I would drive home after some of those discussions, I would actually be more annoyed or more hurt or more frustrated with Jeremy than I was before I retold and relived the story! I would loose that feeling of having shared with friends and realize that I said some pretty mean things about my husband, the man I love.
Husband bashing will destroy your marriage.
It will make you dwell on unhappy things. Not only that, but it will paint a pretty bad picture of your husband to your friends.
Oh, yes… they are your friends, they know you love him, they know he is a great guy.
But do they need to know that your great guy is annoying or has lazy moments or frustrates you all the time?
So, here is the challenge… watch that line. Highlight it in red. Make it bold in your mind. And don’t cross it.
Watch your words about your husband.
Gossiping about him is 1 thing you should NEVER do in marriage.
What are your thoughts?
1 MORE Thing You Should Not Do in Marriage – from my husband’s point of view!