You know… I’ve been in this year of mending.
You have been walking it with me.
Maybe you are walking your own year of mending.
In the mending, I’m learning to let my heart rest. To really let go. To really, really sigh without taking it all back in on myself with the next breath in.
To fully exhale.
A few nights ago, Abby came in our room in the middle of the night.
“Mommy, when I close my eyes, I see red eyes. Then, when I open my eyes, I see red eyes in our room. They are all over the place… red, creepy eyes!”
That, of course, is not a good thing for a 10 year old who is trying to go to sleep.
We prayed together, asking Jesus to fill their room with peace, to flood her heart with His presence and to remind her that He is with her. We quoted Psalm 4:8 together as we remembered the amazing promise of sleeping in peace because He is with us.
Quietly and bravely, she walked back across the hall to her room.
A few minutes later she came running back, opening our door with more words spilling from her… “Mom! The eyes are STILL there.”
I began to ask questions… Did you pray when you got back in bed? Did you try to think on things that are lovely and right and good?
She remained quiet.
“Well, when I got back to my room, Annalise asked what was wrong. So I told her. Then she started telling me a scary story of something SHE saw one time. Now, we are both scared and seeing red eyes!”
Ah… the joys of sisters at 2am.
“Honey, you just prayed and asked Jesus to fill your room with peace. You gave your fear to Jesus. Then, instead of going to sleep, you picked it all back up and filled up your mind with the scary things again. You don’t need to pick it back up. You can leave it with Jesus and go to sleep.”
I walked with her back into their room, talked with Annalise and Abby and prayed over their room. I encouraged them to pray themselves in Jesus’ Name.
I told them to stop thinking about it and talking about it but to trust that Jesus has it all under control. They can sleep in peace because He is on the job.
Let your hearts rest.
While quietly closing the door, the Holy Spirit began whispering to my heart.
“Jenilee, are you letting your heart rest?”
“Are you giving it to Jesus and then just picking it all back up again? Because you don’t have to. You really can let go, exhale and walk away to breathe in new air. You can think on things that are different and good and lovely because Jesus is covering the things you laid at His feet.”
The hurt, the words, the situations, the struggles, the waiting, the mending… it all lands at His capable feet.
And I can walk away.
We can walk away.
We can let Jesus do His work, in His time, in His way. We can breathe. We can let our hearts rest.
No worry, no need to rehash and restate and defend. No need to tell Jesus how to do His job or get in there and try to do it ourselves.
We can rest.
We can let our hearts take a break, our minds stop running around like crazy and just rest.
What are you picking back up today? What haven’t you let Jesus keep in His hands? What is keeping you from getting a needed heart rest?