The secret to a happy marriage?
Do I even have that answer?
I tend to struggle with some of these posts because it is really hard to proclaim something that is bound to work for everyone.
I want to make sure what I write blesses and helps and guides just as I’m growing and learning in our marriage.
The secret to a happy marriage…
that is a tricky one.
Want to know what I came up with?
Because it is absolutely something that applies to us all.
The secret to a happy marriage is this… we are not perfect.
You are not perfect. Your spouse is not perfect.
You can’t expect perfection because you can’t give perfection.
You won’t find it… and the more you look for it, the more unhappy you will be.
Discontent. Unsatisfied. Frustrated.
But… oh the freeing feeling to remember that on the days you are upset because your imperfect spouse forgot to pick up milk on the way home from work or left his laundry in a pile on the floor or said an insensitive word to you at the wrong time of the month… if we can remember in those moments that we probably forgot to mail his letter for him or we had a bad attitude about cleaning the bathroom or we might have even resented his ability to sleep through the baby’s crying all night long… should I go on?
In the times that our spouse’s imperfections are staring us in the face we must remember that we are not perfect either.
Husbands. Wives. Imperfect.
Two imperfect people living together who need grace. Grace and the freedom to apologize and offer forgiveness.
Two imperfect people who rejoice when it is time to kiss and make up.
Two imperfect people who remember that they didn’t marry their spouse for what they can do FOR them but for who God can make them to be together.
Two imperfect people creating a life together.
Freedom in knowing that he isn’t perfect and neither are you.
Happiness comes in the freedom to know the grass isn’t greener anywhere else.
Happiness comes in the freedom to know that your spouse is a work in progress just like you are… you can’t expect him to arrive at perfection before you are able to live it yourself.
So, our secret?
Well, we are learning to remember it every day too.
As much as I wish I WAS perfect, I’m not.
Neither is Jeremy.
And that is okay with me.
Imperfect. Together. Working it all out with God’s merciful help.