Looking for signs of true love?
Do you think that’s looks or money or fame or what you read about in books or see on TV?
I hate to break it to you… but that is not true love.
Those things are not realistic or worth basing a marriage on.
My husband is real. He is. I have a real husband who is human, imperfect, challenging, adventurous, crazy and amazing.
We live a real life together.
Ann Voskamp wrote an incredibly smart and true post on this real husband topic.
A post that women in this “Shades of Grey” and “boy band” culture need to read.
The Real Truth about ‘Boring’ Men
I saw her post come across facebook and I immediately agreed with Ann even before I read her post.
You see, I married one of the so called ‘boring’ men she wrote about.
I know.
Nothing about Jeremy is actually boring. In fact, he is the complete opposite of boring in nearly every way. If you’ve read this blog for any length of time you know that I married a fireball of life.
Signs of true love
He is energetic, interesting, fun, and slightly crazy.
But, he is real.
He is a real man who loves real, lives real and gives real.
Those are signs of TRUE love.
In her post, Ann is writing to her boys.
She says, “The real romantics imagine greying and sagging and wrinkling as the deepening of something sacred. Because get this, kids — How a man proposes isn’t what makes him romantic. It’s how a man purposes to lay down his life that makes him romantic.”
Then, Ann says, “I’m praying, boys — be Men. Be one of the ‘boring” men – and let your heart be bore into. And know there are women who love that kind of man.
The kind of man whose romance isn’t flashy – because love is gritty.
The kind of man whose romance isn’t about cameras — because it’s about Christ.
The kind of man whose romance doesn’t have to go viral — because it’s going eternal.”
So, I’m writing this to my girls.
Girls, love that kind of man.
Look for real signs of true love.
Love someone like Daddy who is real. A man who is on the ‘boring’ side of love that Ann writes about.
Not a flashy, hot guy who thinks he belongs in the next hit movie.
Not someone who cares about looks and age and the outside package.
Not someone who needs you to be anything other than who God has made you and is creating you to be.
Love someone who works hard, loves hard, and breathes reality.
Oh, he can be cute… because Daddy is really cute.
Yes, a Mommy still thinks her man is cute.
But, he must be solid and strong and fully real.
Hands down, the realness of a man who loves you, loves God and daily loves to grow old with you will outweigh the other fluff every single moment of your married life.
Those are signs of true love.
Someone who will cry with you, laugh with you, spend Friday nights at home with you, build a life with you, challenge you and love you through annoyances, disagreements and frustrations that come with being real and living real life.
That is the real husband you want.
You want the man who will love you in your perfect size 6 wedding dress and who will still love you in your size XL men’s sweatpants you throw on as maternity day wear.
You want the man who will grin at you and tell you how cute you are when you feel positively greasy.
You want the man who hugs you in the kitchen and and snuggles with you as you watch your favorite movie for the 100th time.
A man whose very heart is at home with you.
A real husband
A man who will safely carry your heart through your tomorrows.
A real man… not some made up character from a book. Not some hot shot cutie you met at the mall.
A real, godly, living, breathing man.
Love is gritty, as Ann writes to her boys.
It is gritty because real men make mistakes… they fail and they are not perfect.
But a real man excepts grace, gives grace and finds true grace within his God-given marriage with you.
So, sweet Goodwin girls… when you choose to change your name from Goodwin to the name some man wants to give you…
Let his name be real.
Let his character be worth changing your name for.
Fall in love with real. Find signs of true love that matter for the long haul.
Another post you might need to read… Reasons I Love Him That Might Surprise You
What do I do with my life?
Like this blog a lot, but it feels kinda like there is a lot of pressure on your daughters to be a perfect size six at their weddings, or to get pregnant and have kids no matter what or to take their husbands’ last names. I love my very real husband, but he loves his very real me too! I wasn’t a size six, we won’t be having kids & I’m still not sure about the name change thing. Maybe the message should be pick a guy who let’s you be you & don’t forget to let him be him.
Honestly, I didn’t see those things in my post but rather the message of no matter what size you are or how you look or who you are, love someone who is real and who loves the real you. Looking back at the post, I could see it through your eyes… but as you dig through my blog more, I hope you’ll get a better picture for my heart! thanks for sharing your thoughts! I appreciate you stopping by!!
I really love this post. You have really hit all the great characteristics you should seek in someone. I love how you said your love doesn’t need to go viral it needs to be eternal.
Well said! “Boring is good!”
AMEN! AMEN!! AMEN!!!
Love!
What beautiful words from the heart. I agree. Real is so much better than the alternative. Real is worth waiting for.
Love it!!!
This post touched my heart!! We live in such a disposable society that many look at marriage in the same light. Books like shades of grey do such a disservice to our women and men alike. Women read them and are let down because the real men in their lives can’t compete with that kind if fantasy. Like you, I’m glad I have a real man. One that prays for us, one that changes flat tires, one that teaches our sons how to be a man. I want our girls to see that it’s the little things that really matter…not the glitz and glamour. Thank you for writing a “real” post! As usual, you hit the nail on the head!