Yes, I’m blogging this topic and talking marriage tips for keeping things hot in marriage.
Because we are busy.
Very busy.
But so are you.
In fact, everyone is crazy busy these days and having time to invest in our marriage is really difficult.
When life gets busy and there is very little time for quiet moments together, it is really hard to keep your marriage warm, let alone hot.
And, I’ve noticed that when we aren’t connecting with each other on a daily basis, we very quickly loose any heat at all.
Why do we need a hot marriage?
Well, have you read Song of Solomon lately?
God created love and he made us to bond intimately with our spouse.
Now, I’m not just talking about what everyone is thinking about either.
I’m talking about the little things.
The small stuff.
The simple ways we connect with our spouses in the busy times.
It is the small stuff and the little things that get lost in the shuffle of a busy life.
So, how do you keep from loosing the heat in the busy seasons of life?
1. Don’t let stress and frustration and annoyance keep you from talking. Busy times are very stressful. Talk anyway.
2. Text during the day about fun things the kids are doing or what you found at the store or how the meeting is going. Texting immediately makes you feel more involved. And when you only text about your to do list or instructions for the next project, you aren’t connecting relationally or on a friendship basis!
3. When you are angry, kiss your spouse. It works. You both stop and think. You might still be angry, but you remember you love your spouse and that helps immensely.
4. Don’t dwell on what your spouse does or doesn’t do. When things are busy, it is really easy to keep score and tally who does what. I’m so bad at this one. Remembering to let go, forgive, go the extra mile, pick up the slack really helps keep me from over reacting.
5. Remember the reasons you really love him. These reasons might surprise you like they did me.
6. Capture every moment you have together. Make use of the short bursts of time you can sneak away from the busyness.
7. Remember you won’t have the perfect marriage. The grass is not greener somewhere else. You have been blessed. Keeping your marriage healthy takes work. Especially when you are busy.
8. Put away the gadgets. Busy times require lots of gadget time. At least for us it does. Our calendar, our to do lists, our plans, our reports… everything is on a phone or computer or iPad. Put it away for an hour and enjoy a short coffee break with your spouse.
9. Go for a walk… or a run. Walking, running, biking… any kind of physical activity is so good for both of you when life is busy. Take advantage of the stress relief, the down time, the health benefits and exercise together a few times a week.
10. Get some sleep. Yes, real sleep. When you are more rested, it is easier to face the busy days and you are more likely to be nice to your spouse throughout the day. And being nice goes a long way in keeping the heat of marriage turned up!
We aren’t perfect at these… in fact, I see a few we could do more often.
Life is busy. And full of stress. That puts our marriage at high risk for major complications.
But, God has given us marriage tips to connect daily with our spouses in fun, simple ways. We need to take advantage of them, love our spouse and keep the marriage hot even in the busy times!
Check out: Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
What is one way you stay connected and keep your marriage hot in busy seasons of life? What marriage tips can you add for busy couples?
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All such great ideas. Praying & doing devotionals together can also help you refocus on what is important. It can also be a way to communicate things that may be weighing on your mind by referencing scripture important to you, which is much less threatening than accusing or telling them what you feel they are or are not doing. Your spouse may be able to express ideas about your worries that makes you think and reevaluate what was on your mind without any type of confrontation. When stress gets to us, we have an unfortunate tendency to take it out on the ones we love. We snap at those we love the most but we can fake it til we make it at work or school. Carry that home until you can pray it out. When we talk to our spouses we need to focus on “I” statements to express our feelings and not “you” as in they are or are not doing what you think they should. We need to remember that Satan attacks our weak spots and that can often be our emotions. We need to all accept that we will run into times that we may not like our spouses but we make a choice to love them. We are commanded to love them like Christ loved the church, God never turns His back on us and is always there for us to rant and rave and be mad as well as cry with both joy and sadness. What a gift we are all given each day to wake up and be forgiven and that is the best thing we can do for our marriage, start each day fresh and forgive.
These are such great reminders that the little things in marriage add up to BIG things. And the book you mentioned? Sacred Marriage should be given to every newlywed couple as a wedding present.
I totally agree!!
We both work long and different hours so to stay in contact with each other and up to date on things we text back and fourth and we FaceTime each other!!! ?
Such good advice, Jenilee! All of it. I love that grace is mixed in with the goals. Gotta have both.
This is just what I needed to read. My husband and I have been experiencing a lot of busy times lately and have recently going through a change with him having to have surgery…so the little things to keep our marriage hot is just what I needed. I love the idea of kisses when you are angry. I will definitely try that. Also, I loved the texting about fun things instead of to do lists. Such great advice! Thank you!
I’m glad it helped!! Thanks for stopping by!!
I like the suggestion about dancing. That’s how we first touched and I was swept away! He’s an amazing dancer and it heats things right up, even I’m a little clumsy. We don’t take time for it often, but if he hears a Latino beat, he’ll jump right in and it’s fun even if its only a few minutes. So I need to keep a playlist ready. Great post, thanks!
the Aussie and I walk for miles everyday (except in the winter) not only does it get us moving, but it gets our brains moving too. its a great chance for us to daydream together 🙂 thanks for sharing these!
we love doing things outside together! thanks for stopping by!
We always give each other a kiss when we’re leaving or coming home. Sometimes it’s just a quick peck; other times it gets a bit more steamy. It’s a way of reconnecting after being apart.
yes, a kiss is such a great way to connect! thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
One thing we do to say connected during busy times is we have dinner together alot more. Ordinarily, we have breakfast together each day but we’re often still working during dinner. But when things get really crazy, we set dinner aside to be with each other to make sure we’re connecting every morning and every night.
I agree… sharing a meal is a great way to connect! There are days that Jeremy and I meet up for lunch somewhere just so we can have a meal together!
Great ideas!! I agree with the texting one, I love getting little messages from Eric, even random ones!
me too… when his ringtone goes off even the girls get excited because the know it is Daddy!
We go upstairs when he gets home for a kiss/hug/conversation with no distractions. It makes for an evening on the same page during dinner and family tv time instead of waiting until the kids go to bed.
love this idea!!!
We hold hands a lot. Even 31 years later, we are still holding hands “)
Have been married 18 years this year. Holding hands & making sure we kiss each other before we leave each other (even if only going to the store for a loaf of bread) are a must for us! Love his kisses!
oh, yes. kisses are a must!!