The longer I’m married and the more I learn about the reasons for marriage, the more passionate I have become about healthy, growing, solid marriages.
Marriage is important. And it deserves our attention.
And, if there is one thing I’ve learned while being married it is that marriage is hard!
Wonderful, crazy, fun… and oh so hard!
Fitting one life into another is not an easy task.
So, if it is so hard, why did I get married in the first place? What reasons for marriage have brought me to this moment?
Why did I want to give my life to man, promise to love him forever and commit to cherishing him for the rest of my days?
If you had asked me this on the day I got married, I would have answered simply, sweetly and innocently.
I would have genuinely meant every word.
I’m getting married to spend my life with my best friend.
I’m getting married to be with the one I love.
I’m getting married to share life and memories and be happy!
I’m getting married to enjoy life with my man!
My reasons were small… open and hopeful, true.
I believed with everything in me that getting married would make me intensely happy.
Marriage does make you happy.
But true happiness and joy comes slowly, eventually and with a whole bunch of dedication, grace and true, unselfish love.
My reasons for getting married, for staying married are so different now.
The foundation of what I thought on our long ago marriage day has stayed the same, but the building blocks that give our marriage deep, abiding substance are very different.
Today, it isn’t just about being with my best friend or living life with the one I love.
No. My reasons for marriage are very different now.
It is about growing into the woman God wants me to be so that I can be the very best wife He knows I can be.
It is about learning how to let go of selfishness, pride, my own personal agenda and developing the skills I need to grow as a wife.
It is about letting God use marriage to mold and shape me to be more like Him.
It is about talking through the hard stuff, working through the tough decisions, praying through the struggles together.
It is daily investing in my husband in ways that allow him to grow in God too.
It is pouring out, giving, helping, blessing…
And there are days that I fail at this.
Days that I wish I could and would grow faster. Days I wish my husband could and would grow faster.
Days I see my marriage for what I want it to be… moments I realize the need to let God take us there in His time.
Days that I hold my husband’s hand and thank God that we have been given grace so that we can offer grace to each other.
I can sit here, typing away and truly say that the reasons I got married are still true.
I am living that reality!
I do get to live life with my best friend and build memories with the man I love.
I can also sit here, incredibly happy in our marriage, and say in all truthfulness that I’m thankful for all the other reasons to be married too.
I’m thankful for growth, for strength, for struggles, for every single piece of married life that forces me out of my comfort zone and causes me to flourish in a new way.
Happiness isn’t a reason to get married.
But, happiness sure is a blessing, a gift from God that comes as a product of investing the time, the effort and the crazy hard work of marriage every single day.
In reading Happy Wives Club by Fawn Weaver, she is inspiring us all to take a look at marriage and find ways to build great, strong, thriving, happy marriages!
My favorite quote from the book is this quote about laughter.
No matter what we face, no matter how God chooses to grow us together, we can laugh, we can play and we can truly be happy in the midst.
For the reasons I got married in the first place and for the reasons I choose to stay happily married forever, true God-given joy will guide us through it all.
Marriage is something I love to write about! Here are some top posts:
- Reasons I love him that might surprise you
- 1 Things You Should NOT Do in Marriage
- Ultimate Guide to a Healthy Marriage
- Marriage is Fragile and why that is okay!
- Keeping Marriage Hot in the Busy Times
What are some reasons you got married? Have your reasons for marriage changed over the years?